Well, friends, tonight is my last shift working for the Lee University Department of Campus Safety. The pay wasn’t stellar, but it was a terrific job for a student and it has been a blessing to me and my family. I didn’t always enjoy working here. Sometimes it seemed that I wasn’t accomplishing very much. Dealing with smart-alecks and the contempt of students, staff & faculty was trying and could make for a long eight hours. However, rather than focusing on the negatives, I will close this chapter of my life with a look back at some of the more memorable moments. I hope that you all enjoy:
- Extensive on-the-job training. ”Here’s a polo shirt. Get some khaki pants and stand in that parking lot until someone relieves you.”
- “Super-C” side courtesy of Scott Lantrip, Christian Mann, and Jeff Pitts.
- The pool party in the Flame Fountain in front of Walker Arena.
- Soap in the fountain on Ocoee St. 397 times.
- The Clown in a blue spandex body suit on Parker Street at 3 am.
- The night I had a shotgun and a knife pointed at me.
- Catching the guys who tried to ambush me with water-balloons in the Ped-Mall shack.
- Watching a resident from Atkins-Ellis paddle his kayak down Parker St. when it was flooded.
- Pushing cars that had stalled after trying to drive through water that was waist deep.
- Getting paid to sleep on the Conn Center stage…really.
- Roof-hopping.
- Climbing through half-constructed buildings.
- Hitting a speed bump at nearly 50 miles-per-hour in the old maroon van so that a co-worker actually hit the ceiling.
- Doing a 360 degree spin in the Sharp-Davis Parking Lot while responding to a call.
- Breaking the windshield of the Malibu with a Softball.
- “Lee 8, are you 10-6?” ”If that’s the one that means I’m using the bathroom, then, Yes.”
- The Snow-Conn
- The Alien Eyeball & “Touch Me”
- “All I’m gonna say is that it involved a large sheet of plastic and a bottle of baby oil.”
- Seeing the ocean from the top of Chilhowee and shooting banana shapes at scuttlers.
- The Bomb at the Rec Center
- “There is only one Conn, praise be unto him, and the Ashley is his prophet.”
- Marlon sleeping (and snoring) through mandatory meetings with his sunglasses.
- Fighting with co-workers over a tacky Maroon Blazer.
- AirSoft Guns and the IS&T people.
- Employee of the Month
- The druglord takedown at Byron Apts.
- Responding to the only on-campus student fatality.
- Chicken Tenders in the Flames Club Booth.
- Hurdling fences to catch a burglar.
- 10-10 @ 10:10
- Sitting on a crackhead.
- Breaking up a lover’s quarrel at Livingston Hall. ”Nice carry.”
- “I pay your salary.” ”Good, you’re the one I need to talk to; I need a raise.”
- The squirrels outside of Sharp-Davis.
- The phone-buzzer and the mystery of the cut cord.
- The Chief and the “Tampoons”
- “Would Jesus park illegally?”
I’m sure that there are many other things that I could write about, but these were just the most prominent memories.
After getting the gun, I just had to try it out, so we ran up to Fugate’s Firearms in Charleston and got to work. I let Elizabeth go first. She was shooting at about 6 yards out and did pretty decent. Despite not feeling very well, she shot off about 50 rounds. I was up next and shot about 100 rounds. I did pretty well at the 6 yard range. I then tried a few shots at 9 and 15 yards. My groups weren’t as good at those ranges, but they were still all on the target and concentrated around the center mass.
The pistol is a Springfield Armory XD 9mm. It is the Service model with a 4″ barrel. I like these guns because of the added safety features (a must with Ben around), their reputation, and because I really enjoyed shooting one that my buddy had let me borrow. I’m looking forward to picking this up, as it is my first handgun, and I can’t wait to get it down to the range.
